Pure Dialogue

“Well Toto, we aren’t in Kansas anymore.”
“Will you shut the fuck up, already? Of course we aren’t in Kansas, we never were, and we didn’t plan on going there either. And if you call me Toto one more time your ass is grass and I’m going to smoke it.”
“Alright, alright Toto, don’t get so wound up. We’ll make it to Kansas eventually. It’s our destiny, I can feel it”
“Just stop with all this destiny bull shit, it’s starting to get ridiculous! And what is up with your obsession with calling me Toto? Do I look like a little dog to you?”
“Would you rather I call you Tito?”
“Tito?! Why not just Tonto while you’re at it?!”
“Wow, you want me to call you Tonto? That’s not very cool. I think Toto and Tito are much cooler, you should really reconsider.”
“Are you fucking serious? Here we are, in a rented piece-of-shit Mazda headed to God-knows-where with your ex in the trunk calling for maggots and all you can do is joke. Well, I’m not laughing and I got news for you buddy, I aign’t your fucking sidekick.”
“You’re not my psychic? But I don’t want a psychic. I want a sidekick. And watch the language, puh-lease! ‘Manda doesn’t approve of foul language.”
“Well, thanks to you and your idiot ideas, ‘Manda won’t have to worry about hearing anything anymore.”