Fundamentally Flawed

I think I must be fundamentally flawed. I don't understand people. I don't think I ever will. Why they do things, why they don't do other things. What makes people act the way they do?

I had a great thing happen yesterday. I want to be happy so badly. I yearn for it so desperately. I can't even find solace in dreams. My dreams are an endless cycle of unsatisfying moments all laced and sewn together until I finally wake up because I can't stand it any longer.

I need to cry about all of this. But tears won't come. I wish they would, it'd be such a sweet release. Everything I think and feel has somehow become clotted in my throat and won't come up or down. It just sticks there.

I put on such a facade. I must be good because no one seems to notice. Or maybe they don't care, I guess. I'm kind of sick of guessing.

I just want a moment where everything feels alright again. One moment where my breath doesn't catch a little; one moment where the weight on my chest lifts.

I know it's too much to ask because I can't turn back time.