Mariette

To passersby it might have looked as if she was praying. She was not. She sat on a bench in a quiet park and had her head bent towards the book resting in her lap. If someone had walked passed her they might notice that her eyes were not following the words on the upturned pages but rather the pigeons walking near her feet. She could almost have been mistaken for a statue except her scarf fluttered in the light breeze.

It was at times like these that Mariette could not read no matter how hard she tried. Whenever she would begin her thoughts would take hold of her and soon she realized she had read an entire page and could not recall what she had read. So she gave up trying and just let her eyes wander.

The birds fascinated her in their own way. Whenever her thoughts were troubled she always seemed to notice the birds and admire their wings. Envy their wings really. A bird could fly whenever it wanted to and some could fly high enough that the world surely had to look beautiful no matter what really was beneath it. And she didn’t even have the luxury to escape into a book.

A particularly strong gust of wind blew through and the pigeons scattered only to land a few feet away again. Mariette closed her watering eyes against the force of the wind. She focused intently on the sounds surrounding her: the brittle oak leaves scraping the asphalt trail, the rusty chains lightly chinking and squeeking as they swayed on the swing set, the traffic going by in the distance, and the tap of her Sketchers on the thousands of small pebbles at her feet as her anxiety mounted.

She was hoping that Devon would show up. He had promised her he would meet her at the park but he was always breaking his promises. She didn’t have much hope for their relationship once they both went off to college in a couple weeks. Devon was set to go to Notre Dame and she had been accepted at both Notre Dame and Holy Cross. She chose to go to Holy Cross and Devon considered this a personal rejection of sorts. He just couldn’t understand why she would prefer a smaller school that didn’t even allow members of the opposite sex to be in the same room with the door closed. It didn’t seem to matter to Devon that the colleges were just down the road from one another. She could feel that something had broken between them and things were just slowly going to disintegrate until one of them finally said the words.

Mariette was hoping that Devon could see too that their relationship was coming to an end. She didn’t want it to be a terrible surprise. She felt devastated but she knew it was time to let things go. She’d decided it would be much better to end it before leaving for college because she didn’t want to see his arms around another girl while they were still technically together. Even though she wouldn’t be too thrilled to see him with someone else after they broke up either. They’d been dating for 2 years after all, that was a long time for a high school relationship. Mariette was still wondering whether she and Devon would remain friends or not.

She’d wanted to talk all of it out with Devon today. So it was something they could both agree on and things could be amicable. But she still had doubts. Maybe she was reading everything wrong and her and Devon would just have to work a little harder to maintain their relationship. Was she really ready to pull the trigger and just end it? Or was she just trying to act preemptively to ensure she wouldn’t be hurt unexpectedly in the future? Mariette wished Devon would just show up already.

Mariette gave up reading as the wind was making her eyes sting and she couldn't concentrate anyway. She put her book in her messenger bag sitting beside her on the bench and wrapped her scarf tighter around her neck. She was really grateful that she had remembered to bring it. She glanced down at her watch, a gift from Devon; it read a quarter to 5. Mariette decided that she'd wait for 15 more minutes and then she'd head over to his house.

***

Devon closed the door and pulled on his jacket. He was kicking himself because he was late and he'd meant to get to the park early. As it was he didn't know what he was going to say. Mariette had called him earlier and asked him to meet her at the park for a serious discussion. In his experience that didn't mean anything good was coming. Devon had sat on his bed with his radio blasting Korn. He hated Korn more than anything, but it sometimes brought him relief when he didn't want to think anymore.

He loved Mariette so much, he just couldn't understand why she didn't want to go to Notre Dame with him. Didn't she want them to be as close as possible? Holy Cross seemed so strict of a school to him he just couldn't fathom her decision. He even started to wonder if she had found someone else and wanted to put a little distance between them so she could pursue another relationship.

Well, he wasn't going to give her the chance to tell him one way or the other. On his walk to the park he picked up his step as he decided that he'd end it first, so she wouldn't have to. Mariette had no idea that he had begun saving money for an engagement ring and he wasn't going to tell her now. He'd find another use for the money.

Devon balled his hands into fists as the tears fell. He wiped them away angrily. He was coming up on the park and he could see Mariette sitting there looking at the birds. He stopped for a moment and just stared at her. She was so beautiful, she took his breath away. Her brown almost black hair that shone in the sunlight filtering through the trees. How many times had he ran his hands through that hair as he'd kissed her? He loved how soft and thick it was. He remembered their first passionate kiss and how he could smell the scent of her shampoo on his hands all night after he got home.

He pulled himself together and wiped the wetness from his face. Devon knew in his heart that he had to ask her to marry him today. He had wanted to wait until he had the ring in his hands, but she was obviously having a lot of doubts about their relationship. Looking at her on that bench, he knew in that instant that he could not let her go. He just loved her too much, he could not fathom living a life without her beside him. If she had found someone else then he would have to face that, but he couldn't live with himself if he didn't tell her how he truely felt for her. He owed her that. And he wouldn't have to spend the rest of his life wondering what could've been had he asked her.

Devon looked down at his hand and saw his class ring on his finger. That would have to do for now. He said a prayer that he wouldn't be wearing it when he went home. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. What a day this was shaping up to be. Depending on the outcome the best or worst day of his life.